Joanna

Tag: mindfulness

  • Pisces Twin Bitch

    I started these blogs to track my growth and the experiences that continue to impact me. One day I asked my grandma something specific about her younger years, and her memories aren’t as clear as they used to be. This made me want to write my own stories down, so future me can look back and reflect.

    She reads everything. We do weekly calls to debrief…she doesn’t always agree with everything, but she likes hearing my journey. I love her 🙂

    Btw the connection is not unstable lol She is so cute.

    ___________________________________

    On another note, a good friend was visiting me in Toronto. Lani and I have been friends for over six years; we met at our old workplace. Knowing her, she’s not really open to meeting new people. I was a student at the time and had this habit of walking around the office near the end of the day to chat. This can be annoying, I know. I know.

    One day I spotted a box of cookies at her desk. I stopped and asked, “Hey, can I have a cookie? ” She gave me a side eye like, “Who is this annoying student? ” but I kept chatting. Behind that mask, I could sense something warm about her and needed to connect. Eventually, she cracked open and softened. During the pandemic, we started doing grocery runs together…a thing that became our bond. We realized we share the same birthday. On my phone she is saved as “Pisces Twin Bitch.” I’m 94% sure she has me saved the same way…

    Somewhere along the way, we realized we both have spiritual stories…dreams, gut hits, intuitive moments to share. Very Pisces, I would say. She was the first one who encouraged me to pursue Reiki and told me about her own certification. That planted a seed. A few months later, I finished my certifications and started practicing on close friends and basically anyone open to receiving.

    On the last day on her visit, I offered her a session. I set up the massage table in my meditation room. Before every session, I do a silent prayer, calling in my guides and theirs to send whatever messages or healing are needed. Every session is different…no two are the same. My role is to set the space to release/heal and not control anything.

    When I reached her heart chakra, I felt a big rush of loving energy. It was her brother. The feeling was gentle and proud. The heart chakra is usually where I feel the strongest connection during sessions. Afterward, I quietly burned palo santo to clear the space and stepped out to give her a moment.

    She told me with tears that since her brother passed, she hadn’t been able to feel him…two years of silence. During the session, she heard him. She got messages that made sense to her. It was the first time she felt and heard him again. Moments like this keep reminding me how much the universe loves us and that we are never alone, truly. 🙏

    Lani, I want to thank you for always pushing me to go after what I want, for encouraging me, and for calling me out when I need it. And seeing how you actually go after your goals motivates me to do the same.

    Love you, Pisces Twin Bitch. Thanks for visiting my world and letting me hold space for your big ass heart 🫶

    BTW, the cookies were not that great…honestly… you should stick to homemade cookies 😉

  • Full moon – 8/8

    Subscribe to continue reading

    Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.

  • Girl, appreciate your strength

    When I was younger, I carried a fiery energy, quick to anger, a bit restless, and bigger than the world I was in. With time, I’ve softened into a more grounded version of myself. That fiery side hasn’t gone out; it’s just become more refined, shaped by self-awareness…well majority of the time. Boxing, hot yoga and nature help keep it in balance.

    On several occasions, I’ve had vivid visions and dreams of a past life in which I was persecuted for being in my truth. Maybe those wounds followed me into this lifetime, waiting to be acknowledged. When I’ve connected with others on my path, I’ve been interested by how often they’ve shared similar dreams, as if this story is part of a collective subconscious memory.

    Dreams or no dreams, history offers countless examples of how women and the feminine have been suppressed and silenced. We very evidently see it woven into the structures of religion, politics, banking, and science, where masculine energy has long been centered and worshipped. Trickling into social life and other forms. We see it in the political and institutional frameworks designed to maintain control and dominance. These systems were not born from fairness, but from fear…fear of feminine energy.

    Feminine energy is not fragile. It is the womb that creates life, the intuition that sees beyond reason and logic, the heart energy that can heal and transform. And because it is truly powerful, it has been controlled through laws and violence. Feminine energy is the actual creator.

    As a sensitive, I’ve learned that when my presence feels “too much,” that is often the moment I need to lean into that feeling and reflect. If someone says you are “too strong,” it may mean they cannot manipulate, control or diminish you. When you set boundaries and they react with defensive, it’s often because they may have benefited from you not having any. This is why you must always trust your intuition and what is worth your time, it knows, girl.

    I’ve been called selfish, and too strong. These words often came from those who wanted me to play the role of the “good” or “cool” girl – agreeable, accommodating, giving and quiet. That was never my true self. Being told to be silent sparked a deep resistance in me. I grew up in a predominantly Christian community, surrounded by women who had learned to make themselves small. It’s all social programming. Eventually, I began to conform as well, but suppression only fuels rage…

    Rage, I’ve come to understand, is often the inner voice of the self that has been silenced too long. It is the emotion that insists on self expression and release.

    Even now, society whispers or shouts that the feminine needs a physical masculine figure to be safe, to survive. Cue in eye roll. That may have been true for my ancestors in another time which were influenced by social and institutional constructs, but the feminine is remembering who they are. And I am here for it and grateful.

    Real feminine energy is not submissive. It is fierce, selectively loving, influential, nurturing, and truly transformative. It can stir the deepest darkest parts of the human soul and yes, that can be beautifully scary (dark night of the soul…anyone? 🌚). No one creates systems and social rules to suppress a population unless they holds true power.

    So, I’m learning to turn inward and nurture the parts of myself where I felt I needed to hide or feel ashamed of. Now more than ever, it’s important to honor and support the fem energy we all carry within us. We all have it. No matter what you identify as. And if living in your truth feels uncomfortable, trust the process…that discomfort is just old conditioning falling away.

    Center your truth. The world doesn’t need the fem to continue to shrink or mold itself to fit its demands…it needs the feminine in its full, untamed power. ✨🌏🌱

    If this feels uncomfortable, it may be good to reflect on that with openness.

  • Becoming the Mirror

    Subscribe to continue reading

    Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.

  • Introverted Thoughts: Minimalist Journey

    Lately, I’ve found myself drawn to minimalist content. With everything going on in the world, adopting minimalist principles feels like a grounding choice. Not just in terms of material things, but also in my relationships, the content I consume, and how I spend my time.

    I’ve continued to ask myself: Is this person, activity or thing bringing me peace, joy, or chaos? There’s already so much noise from the fast pace of modern life. My body is telling me to slow down, to recalibrate. To ask myself honestly…What really brings me genuine joy or meaning? What actually fuels me, rather than drains me?

    Sometimes I imagine losing everything in a house fire…every possession, every attachment. Who would I be without all of it? What would I have left? Just my body, my mind, and my consciousness. It’s a sobering but clarifying thought. I know it’s a bit extreme, but it helps strip things down to the core. Less ego. Less labels. Less identities. Just yourself.

    This mindset has helped me detach gently from certain things, perceptions and people. To let all be on their own path. I’ve flirted with minimalism before, but only now am I truly embodying it. Having more time for reflection has been a catalyst, I’m taking baby steps, but it’s already bringing a sense of peace and spaciousness I hadn’t realized I needed.

    I’ve been auditing my life, how I spend my time, money, and energy. I’ve stopped shopping for things I don’t need. I’ve started saying no to hangouts or events that don’t bring me authentic joy or peace. It’s not personal; it’s simply part of getting to know myself on a deeper level and connect to my inner self.

    So, when was the last time you sat with your thoughts without distractions? Without music, friends, workouts, or scrolling? Just your feelings, all the grief, peace, pain, joy. We often fill our time with consuming or doing to avoid facing what’s truly stirring inside. The only way is feeling it all. I’ve had those moments, especially living in a fast-paced city. The pressure to overachieve, to impress, to dress or date a certain way…it’s relentless. But I’ve been choosing to step back from that pressure and focus on what’s real to me.

    As I’ve build more connection with myself, I’ve noticed more people pulling on my energy at times, not always intentionally, but it happens. And I’ve learned to protect and express that energy when needed. Not out of anger or fear but out of true compassion for myself and others. I want to show up lovingly, truthfully, and present. That means staying away from chaos or energies that dims my light. I understand that chaos can spark intense growth, but right now, I’m in a life cycle phase of authenticity and quietness.

    Sometimes, I feel like an outsider quietly observing. Noticing how easy it is for us to run from ourselves, from our truth and feelings… carrying versions of who we are that don’t fully feel aligned. I see it in others because I’ve seen it in myself too.

    In the end, we are all mirrors of each other.